But there are ways to cope with suicidal thoughts and feelings and overcome. Using a lot of drugs and alcohol may be an attempt to dull the pain or to harm themselves.Īcts recklessly. The person may take dangerous chances, like driving drunk or having risky sex. If youre thinking about suicide, your pain may seem overwhelming and permanent. Then they may sleep a lot more or a lot less than usual.ĭrinks or takes drugs. Substance misuse raises the chance of suicide. But they can suddenly turn calm once they’ve decided to go through with the suicide.
#I want to kill myself how to#
I’ve looked at ropes or ties and tried to figure out how to hang myself. I’ve looked at tall buildings and wanted to throw myself off. I know, because I’ve survived such thoughts. That’s the constant chant which goes on inside the brain of someone who is suicidal. They also may be very irritable, moody, or aggressive. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself. Often, the person may be depressed, anxious, sad, or angry. The person may talk openly about unbearable pain, or feeling like they’re a burden on others. Some may write a suicide note.īecomes withdrawn. The person avoids close friends and family, loses interest in activities and social events, and becomes isolated. Makes plans. The person may take steps to prepare for death, like updating a will, giving away stuff, and saying goodbye to others. They may research ways to kill themselves or buy a gun, knife, or pills. Or they dwell on the topic of death and dying. If you notice any signs that they may be thinking about harming themselves, get help.įocuses on death. Some people talk openly about wanting to die or to commit suicide. Don’t dismiss their talk of suicide as just threats. The opinions expressed are the author's own and do not reflect the views of the National Alliance on Mental Illness.People who commit suicide don’t want to die, but to end their pain. Note: This personal story was prepared by its author in his or her personal capacity. Share your story, message, poem, quote, photo or video of hope, struggle or recovery. I began to take solace in writing about Steve and found purpose in trying to bring more awareness to mental health by telling Steve’s story. When Steve, my soul mate of 33 years, took his own life on March 15, 2015, my world changed dramatically, and my life was turned upside down. Hearing these words today was a good thing as it has strengthened my resolve to continue to inspire conversation about mental illness and suicide with the hopes of dispelling myths like "Suicide is selfish." Being a suicide loss survivor gives one much more perspective-I hope to use this perspective to educate others. The second reason may be that it is easier for them to say “suicide is a selfish act” rather than really try to process why someone would take their own life. The first may be an attempt to comfort the suicide loss survivor(s) in an effort to help shift the guilt burden (blame) to the one who died. I believe there are two possible reasons why some say suicide is a selfish act.
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Only now do I realize how much he must have been suffering.
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He could not (or would not) share with me what he was afraid of. A few weeks before he died, Steve told me he was so afraid. The despair and hopelessness I felt were so tortuous I can't even imagine what Steve was going through in his final days. If you are in a state of mind or situation that you can not see beyond the problem or issue that youre dealing with that brought you the idea or feeling of. I suffered situational depression in the months after Steve died and believe it was in no way even close to what Steve must have felt suffering from clinical depression. Most of us can easily understand physical pain since at some point or another in our lives we have experienced some form of it. I believe this is one of the reasons suicide is so stigmatized and misunderstood. Steve was the kindest, most giving and thoughtful man I have ever known, and he would never do anything to intentionally hurt anyone.Īs human beings, it is difficult for us to relate to mental pain and empathize with what someone so afflicted is feeling. Men are 4 times more likely than women to die from a suicide attempt. In his suffering mind, Steve felt we would all be better off without him.īased on my experience with Steve, I believe his mind was so tortured and he was in so much mental pain, he was not thinking rationally when he took his own life. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death for people ages 15 to 44. In Steve's case, his writings and the discussions he had with me before he died, he indicated that he felt he was a burden to those who loved him. If anything, in the mind of the one who takes their own life, it’s a selfless act. Today, for the first time since Steve died by his own hand in 2015, someone said directly to me: "Suicide is a selfish act." I was not angry or insulted, but rather very sad that people still believe this to be true.